Quotations 5: Inevitable

 

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

 — Maya Angelou

I remember this episode of Star Trek:  The Next Generation, when Picard is living an alternative life from Starfleet.  In it, he has a son (played by his actual son) who has had a difficult time figuring out what he wants to do with his life.  He has tried several different professions, and has finally decided to be a musician.  Why?  Because music is what he always turned to when he was weary, sick, restless, joyful or inspired.  Music was at the core of his life, and when he finally figured that out, he realized that he had known his purpose all along; he just hasn't recognized it.    

I understood what he meant entirely.  Writing was always at the core of my life.  I wrote thousands of pages during my youth, which I kept in giant binders that no one was allowed to read.  I tried to publish from an early age, starting with (gasp) Harlequin Romances.  When I was older, and going through some health difficulties, I escaped from it all through hours spent at my computer.  I couldn't stop myself from writing.

If only I had figured out sooner what Picard's son figured out.  Maya Angelou is right:  the stories within poke and prod at the soul until they can flow from brain to fingers to screen (or paper).    If I had just realized that, I would have found myself on a very different life path.

But at the same time, it's okay that I followed a somewhat meandering route.  It makes the stories more interesting.