The last few weeks have been a little strange. I have wondered, every now and then, if I'm in some strange parallel universe where nothing quite makes sense. Why? Well, I won't give you a lot of details because we need to protect the innocent, but here are some examples.
- I danced the Charleston in the salon of a stately home.
- I had to hand-wash a pair of trousers in a hotel and hang them out the window to dry, because I forgot to pack an extra pair. It didn't really fit the hotel's aesthetic, but at least they blended in with the flower baskets.
- I got so sick I actually pulled a muscle while coughing.
- I visited the waterfall where Kevin Costner once went skinny dipping. The rocks are still blushing.
- I saw a phantom grey lady climbing a staircase in Leeds Castle and nearly had a heart attack.
- I drank tea at Downton Abbey.
- I cooked onions in butter and wrapped them up in a towel to make a greasy sort of decongestant poultice and cure my mother's cold. It was her grandmother's remedy and no, it didn't work.
- I waited in a queue for an hour so I could buy a little family of ghosts.
It was not at all what I expected my holiday to be. I enjoyed it, but I'm glad to be back at my desk, safely ensconced in the sixteenth century. I've had enough adventures for now.
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